There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
