why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
