We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
