i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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