just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
