your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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