Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
