Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
A+ Viking dick
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