I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She has the best kind of daddy issues
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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