My hand turned me down
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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