We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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