She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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