i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
