U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
People in love make me want to vomit
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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