She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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