I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
