I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize