Porn is love you can see.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
