If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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