guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize