I need to stop coming to work sober
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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