Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
