Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
