i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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