tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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