but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
