i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
