hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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