The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
