went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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