Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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