So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
