when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
