I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
