if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can I color on your dick again?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
