Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
