umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
