Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
