That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize