I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
