Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
two words...techno handjob
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We need to get me chipped asap
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize