I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
