you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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