What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
