I wish my penis had an off switch
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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