Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
