I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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