If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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