So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize