Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
