I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
