The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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