She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
