I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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