These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
