I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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