You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
