I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize