Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
