I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
