they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
